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POEMS
ok im not gonna put katys poems what i will do however is give a link to her poems on her site and it also includes whatever poems she puts there
also marks poems and or whatever poems he has written there besides his own thanks you two very much for becoming my freinds i do say you two and darkness have inspired me very much to create poems of my own and you katy have inspired me much thanks lots i hope you like this site better
OK so now the poems by me rr this isnt gonna be cool lol i have no titles but ill make some as i post them note all poems i write or fiction and dont mean really anything that i know of except some
THIS LIFE I HATE
AS I LOOK INTO THE DARK WICKED NIGHT SKIES
I SEE A PLACE OF LONELYNESS<(IS)
A PLACE LIKE ME FOREVER LONELY AS I SIT HERE
WISHING TO END THIS LIFE OF MIND
WHAT IS IT IM HERE FOR?
KNOW MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
KNOW MATTER HOW NICE I AM
I ONLY WANTED TO BE LOVED
WANTED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME
SO SHOULD I TAKE THIS LIFE?
THIS LIFE OF NOTHING
A LIFE OF TROUBLE
A LIFE OF MISERY
I CAN'T BE HAPPY
I CAN'T BE SAD
I KNOW SOMEONE CARES BUT WHO?
THIS LIFE I HATE
THIS LIFE I TAKE
FATHER
nights alone i cry
nights alone in the dark
nights alone wishing he was here
i sit on my bed wondering why did he have to die why was it i didnt get to meet my father oh sure people say its life i cry alone in my room thinking about those fucking fathers who leave there kids who have nothing to do with there kids what kinda father is that i ask then i cry and think will i be this father maybe thats a reason why i dont want kids but this wasnt my dads fault this was some dopeheads fault and more than anything he drunk beer to and people wonder why i hate people like this yes this man hit my dad my dad died cause of a dopehead driver and why cause of some stupid shit and the man got away and sure i didnt get to meet my dad and thats something i hate i wonder alot of times what would it be like if my father wouldnt of died i wasnt even born when he died so i sit and wonder will i be the good father ?
A LOVE THAT ENDED IN DEATH
She said no one loved her
She said no one ever loves her
She said she was worthless
She said the knife was making her happy
She lyed there in her bed as i watched her
I tried to stop her
She said i didnt love her
I did and so did lots of others
She thought that in life no one ever loved her
I cryed as i watched the knife slashing at her wrist
She looked into my eyes and said to me
I love you I cant take back what i done
all i could do was stare and cry
I wanted to touch her
I wanted kiss her
I wanted to hold her
She seemed so alone
but all i could do was stare
as i watched this sweet child take her life
I know she thought no one loved her
but what she didnt know was i was the one i loved her
so i as i take this knife from her
as i cry and think of the love we once shared
as i slowly pass the knife over my wrist
as i watch the blood shed
as i look at this sweet childs dead body
her sorrowful eyes
i then turn weak the knife slips out of my hands
a love we once shared a love that ended in death
JUST ONE GOOD DAY,,,,
He called me a bitch
He said i was dumb
I tryed to be his freind
I didnt wanna cause trouble
I never want to
I have grown up now
Now i wish i could take back those days
Days of suffering
Days of holding back anger
Days of wanting to kill all the preppys
Well maybe not the preps
At least the assholes
The ones who tormented me
The ones i let get away
I wish i could do what i wanted to
Take my school desk and just slam it right into them
Grab them by there head and throw them out the window
These little bitches wouldnt leave me alone
To watch them suffer as i end there happy talk with the teacher
To see the look on everyones face
To be joyful as i sit and watch them wonder whats happening
Like i wonder when he picked on me when he slapped me
For i did nothing but i got the ass kicking
Why so he could be happy
So he could tell his freinds how i didnt fight back
So he can prove to his little girlfreind i was a pussy
To watch these assholes die
To suffer no more
To feel no more pain
To be at rest
To be happy that i did something right
To watch them suffer
Just one good day
Just one good day...
THE SISTER I MISS
I watched as she took her life
I watched as i couldnt do nothing
I watched the pills as she swallowed them down
She said nothing was wrong
She said she was fine
She liked doing drugs
I could never understand why
She was always upset
Always depressed
She was never a happy person
She thought she was cool
She fitted in she said
Why was this cause she was taking pills
She drunk a few beers
Every night the same thing
A few freinds
A few types of drugs
She said i was a looser and why
cause i wouldnt take them
I could see the consequences
I didnt need them
So as i sit here and watch
Watch her waste her life
Watch them all
They seem happy
But how does one
Think there happy
When there killing there self
I awoke this morning to the screams
My mom screaming
Her daughter was dead
I asked why
All she could do was cry
The police was over
I asked what happen
They said the drugs
The kids
A night out
A drive home
So my sister i lost
Ill never forget her
The times we spent
So sad that it ended this way
She didnt listen
I couldnt help
So now shes gone
Little sister forever
Ill always remember
A freindship,Love,and laugh
The times we shared
My sister I loved
My sister ill miss
UNLOVED
She laughed,singed,and smiled
As she looked at me
As she holded my hand
As she kissed me
But then she ended it all
She grabbed Knife
She started stabbing the walls
She started screaming,and crying
She called me fake
She said i was no nobody
She said i didnt love her
She said no one loved her,no one cared,and everyone hated her
She started coming towards me
I was speechless
I was scared
I didnt understand
Everything was fine she was happy
Then i felt the blade as it ripped into me
As it ripped my skin
piercing my heart
I felt all the pain
I seen my life as it slipped away
I watched the blood as it dripped to the floor
I cryed for help but no one would
I asked why
I asked how could she
But she wouldnt talk
All she could do was stare and cry
This girl who wasnt loved this girl who thought no one loved her
What did i do
Why was it me
FREAK
The names they called me
The things they said
They just wanted to hurt me
I ignored them all
I ignored them for the sake of i was liking it
Liking the idea that i was no one
Liking the idea i was me alone
I didnt have to deal with there everyday problems
I was alone a freak someone but then again no one
I wasnt one who wanted to be mister pretty
Who was i to look good for anyone
I didnt care i didnt give a shit
I was me and thats all
Just no one a freak to the world
Someone everyone despised
Why cause i was different
I didnt wanna fit in
I wanted to be different
I wanted to be cheap but thats me
I like me
For i am and will always be
A freak to the world
A freak to everyone
So fuck you all
Everyone one of you
You dont like me why cause im not like you
My hair is long so i look odd
So what jesus was odd
Assumingly i dont wanna be like the rest
I dont wanna be dead when im 18
Not for someone who said i was cool
Well lets see where cool would have got me
I had a beer a joint and i was going 70 down the freeway pretty impressive wasnt i
I killed myself
Also the freind who said i was cool
Wonder if now that where dead he still thinks im cool
Look at these people the people who love me
Now what they feel sorry for me why cause i done something so wrong
Something i should of known wasnt correct
Something that i didnt have to do
So everyone feels sorry
So yea now you see the other side
The side of why i dont wanna fit in
That isnt me
Im just a FREAK
A FREAK to the world
So fuck you all
PSYCHO
Cold and lonely
I sit here and think
I think alone
I think about killing
Just sitting alone
In some reastraunt
Watching a family as they eat
As this family looks so happy
A wife
A husband
A kid
To watch and think
If i was to ripp this husbands head off what would would the wife and kid think
Just imagining there thoughts to think of it
If i raped the wife and let the kid watch her scream as i fuck her sould to hell
As i sit and think what would the people in the store do
I grabb the kid and rip him into shreds
This family and there happy time
I ended it
Why cause i didnt give a fuck
But thats only a thought
To think of these things
Did i scare you
Did i make you think a little
What if that was you
Your family
Your relatives
I ripped his head off
I fucked her
I killed the kid
What would happen
The hate
The chaos
I could see it all
Im laughing now
So these are my thought
As i sit here cold and lonely
Fuck em i didnt care it was only a thought
MY DEAR FREIND
I cry as i sit here
I cry as i watch you waste your life
I cry you as you tell me lies
I cry as i hear you say no one loves you Although i know that isnt so
I love you
Your parents love you
Your freinds
People you will never meet
So what am i saying
All i want for you
Is happyness
I cry as i sit here and think about the knife
I watch as you slice away at your wrist
I wanted to stop you but then i didnt
Why cause i seen your sorrow
I seen how you wanted to be alone
You thought no one loved you
But now do you see the truth
Now that your gone
Now that everyone else is feeling the way you where
I loved you we all loved you
I cryed at your funeral
I even thought of the good times we had
So as i sit and cry and think of the love we once shared
My dear freind i will always love you
THOUGHTS OF ABORTION
I watch you as you sit there outside on the porch
I watch the rain as it falls down
One drop two drops the sound of hitting the roof
We share this moment of peacefulness
Then it all changes
The rain turns to blood
She screams out in terror
I watch and feel so sad
I take her in my arms and try to quite her
I told her this is only the blood of the inoccent
The blood of a new born
The blood of abortion
She asked me if this was a dream
I told her no my dear this is your baby and what will come of it
She cryed and screamed and asked what do you mean
I told her this is your thoughts
This is your baby this is what will become of it
Because of this i ask you now
Do you want your babys life to end
To end so quickly
I watch the blood as it falls off the roof
The blood of a innoccent
The blood of a newborn
Your baby your thoughts
THIS PRISON CELL
Looking around this prison cell
I feel so isolated but why cause i am
What did i do wrong where did i go wrong was it my fault?
Did i kill this man?
Who was this man ?
I didnt mean it but he entered my house with out my permission
I didnt ask him nothing
I slit his throat tossed him out into the dog pin
I then watched as the dogs ate him
Torn him to shreds
I laughed and giggled
So am i insane or what is it i am
I didnt mean to he just entered without permission
So this prison cell i sit this prison cell i wait
Wait for what you ask the day they let me out
ALONE,SAD,LOST,CONFUSED
Alone,sad,lost,confused
I watch as she sat there
Alone,sad,lost,confused
She seemed to be hurt
She seemed to think no one loved her
Alone,sad,lost,confused
In this cold dark forest
So i asked her what the problem was
All she could say was
No one loved me
No one cared
He hurt me
She hurt me
Everyone hurted me
I told her i was sorry
I didnt understand why no one would love someone like you
Alone,sad,lost,confused
I kept hearing those words in my head
She looked at me and cryed
She asked if i loved her
If i cared
She then took her life before i could answer
She took her life as fast as i met her
I lost her who was she
This girl of mystery
Alone,sad,lost,confused
I felt this way now
Im sorry she died
Who was she
Tears rolled down my eyes
Why didnt i see her slice her wrist
Sad,Alone,Lost,Confused
As I stab myself with the knife she left me
I cryed for I didnt know this girl of mystery
The love for her though was strong
Alone,sad,lost,and confused
THIS GIRL I LOVED THIS GIRL I KILLED
I watched as she sat there
her eyes the way she looked at me
the smile she sent
always so special
she wanted a kiss
i couldnt give this kiss
i didnt want to give in to the feeling of being hurt again
not another day i want to live with that feeling
she gave me her love once
i cant never forget this girl i loved this girl i can never forget
but now where freinds she wanted a kiss
i couldnt be hurt i didnt want it to be that way again
so i threw her to the ground
kicked her
slapped her
stabbed her
this is what she was nothing more than a bitch
the little slut she shall die
for lifes just another word here in this place we call earth
so fuck you fuck your family you little slut
die i watched her i watch the pain
her eyes no more love within them
she was dying painfully
i then sat on the bed as i watched her dye
i cryed i cryed
all she wanted was a kiss
all she wanted was a one last kiss
i didnt give it i killed her
and now i regret it
i thought i loved her at once
but now im hurt everyday
so fuck her fuck this life i live
no more pain i will not take this shit
i then run outside
i scream and scream
lying on the grass i cry and scream
i killed her i dont regret it or do i
this girl i loved this girl i killed
LOL THIS HAS NO TITLE I DONT FOR ONE HAVE A CLUE WTF WAS ON MY MIND
Lying here cold and dead i seen them all
A field of women dead and lost
Stolen from them something they will never get back
But why was i here me a guy in the middle of a field of women
Dead women who were these people and what happen to them
Why was i here in this field
I screamed and yanked my hair out
I felt so alone so sad
These women where dead but who done this and why
Was it these womens fault
I shall never know but why am i hear in this field of dead women
Then i noticed all these women seemed big and pregnant
I heard the most awful sound in my life
I watched as the womens my bodys ripped into shreds and weird little creatures came out of them
I was scared lost
What the Fuck was happening
I closed my eyes but no i cant close them
Something was forcing me to watch
Why was i forced
What did i do
Why oh please someone
Then i heard a voice
Thank you for coming my freind
Thank you lots Senerade
My name he said my name Senerade
You do know why you are here he said
I asked who he was and what was this sick scene i was forced to watch
He said this is the life of all the new borns
The new borns of the new world
When all and anything fuck each other maha
OK NOW FOR THE NEXT POEM ITS FOR MY TWO FREINDS
MY TWO FREINDS
I lie here warm and snugged in my bed as i open my eyes
its morning the weather is nicely
the birds chirping
the sun shining
only there was a problem
there was a problem like every morning
no it wasnt the weather
no it wasnt the sun blinding the fuck out of me
it was the fact i was scared i was sad i wanted to cry
just like all mornings
what was wrong you may ask
my freind her name is katy
my freind her name is amber yes im speaking of them
what is it that could be wrong
was it there time did they do it
will i ever hear from them again
will they ever be around
will i ever hear there sweet voices again
maybe not how would i know
i love them so
all i love all my freinds
but these two are the ones i have to worry about
so depressed so sad so alone
they feel unloved the feel like no one ever cares
only thing is they dont see the truth that alot do
sucide is there thing
they always wanna die always
i try to tell them it isnt worth it
but what do i know im a loser
someone who doesnt care for thats what they say
im hoping to hear something from them today
to let me know there ok
to let me know everything is all right
so i can be happy
so i can have a smile on my face
i hate awaking i dont know if my life will ever be the same
so i lie here wondering will today be the day
will today be the day i awake and never awake to a happy life
will today be the day ill never be the same
the day i dont wanna face
the day i might feel the way they did
this is the day i dread
so i lie here scared and lost
i just wanna cry
i feel so alone
my freinds my two freinds
HAVE YOU EVER
Have you ever wanted to die and didnt know why?
Have you ever felt like no one cared and didnt love you?
May ask why?
Have you ever felt the need to die?
Have you ever just lied down and wonder why ?
Have you ever ran a blade across your wrist but wasnt able to really do it?
Have you ever loved some one and thought they felt the same way?
All these sucidal thoughts running threw your head
Why you may ask Why i write this here poem
Well have you ever wonder why I loved you?
Have you ever wonder why i cared?
You are my freind and i will always love you
So have you ever wonder ?
Maybe next time you wont feel this way
Think of me for i am your freind
Love always Nolon
TAKE ANOTHER PILL,GRAB THE RAZOR TELL ME ITS OVER
Take another pill,grab the razor tell me its over
Hurt me again again and again time and time again
Tell me no one loves you
Tell me your alone in this world
Take another pill
Make me feel hurt inside
Make me feel like didnt even try
Well i cant understand why you make me feel this way
Ill never understand how you can hurt yourself this way
You tell me you was hurt well how you feel now
Does killing yourself feel anybetter
Guess ill never understand this wasnt my life
Take another motherfucking pill
Waste your life
Slit your wrist
Take another pill,grab the razor tell me its over
Hurt me again make me feel painful within
Talk to me watch the tears fall
Watch as i try to stop you
Stop you how
By telling you it isnt worth it
Guest that didnt work look at you now
Your gone Ill always miss you
Watch as the people that once love you
Do the same or live there life missing you
Oh wait no one loves you
Dont say i didnt tell you
Now you see dont you
Crying all alone
Chained to a wall fires blazing your face
I picture you there in hell crying
Wondering what was going threw your mind
I sat alone that night
The night i got the call
I was told you was dead
I cryed i wished i would of been there
No i wasnt i told you it would be fine
I told you to find something to occupy yourself
Did you think i meant the pills,the razor
Thats not what i mean and i loved you
I will always love you
You was my freind but now your gone
All i can say is ill miss you
Not that ill miss you but i miss you
Ill always miss you
Watch as i try to stop you
Stop you how
By telling you it isnt worth it
Guest that didnt work look at you now
Your gone Ill always miss you
Take another pill,grab the razor tell me its over
Hurt me again again and again time and time again
LOST WITHIN A WORLD
For today im lost within a world i can never be found
Someone slipped something in my drink
But no i didnt know this
So now im lost within a world i can never adapt to
For time has come i pay the consequences of being the druggy i once was
I done something ill never forget
Stuck and trapped in this wheelchair
Cant move,Cant talk,Stuck in my head
Paralyzed for life
My mistakes
No i didnt but someone did
So now stuck and cant live without ever knowing why
Why was i the one to get stuck the way i am now
So now im here in my chair
Crying and thinking and waiting to die
But though i want to die i fight to stay alive
I know life will never be easy
I know i can never live a life of drugs and partying
Im stuck now crying and living this life of being stuck
18 years old i cant even finish school with my class
for i cant do nothing anymore
i can hear things lots of things but never can i respond
so today im lost within a world i can never be found
DEEP WITHIN MY HOLE
Deep within my hole i cry
Deep withing this haven i call my home
Deep way deep down in this hole i cry
Im no one and no one ever seems to notice me
Im the one people stare and at and talk about
Though they never seem to ask me why
Why i am like this
Why i am different instead they live there life
Picking on me saying things in secrecy
They cant never seem to make freinds with me
I think they are scared
But scared of what
Who i am how i dress
I ask myself why does it matter
Does all your freinds have to be one of the most popular i dont think so
So alone deep within my hole i cry
Alone so far down in my hole i cry
Away from the world
Away from everyone
Alone in my hole
My place i can confide in
MY hole
My Home
So leave me here
Dont ask me a dam thing
Alone in my hole i cry
STUCK AND HURT
She told me she was sad
She said she didnt wanna talk about it
I begged the differ
I tryed to help but she walked away
I felt hurt
I didnt know what was wrong
She walked away
I then caught up with her and ask again
She told me to leave her alone this wasnt my concern
She said and besides i didnt care
I knew it wasnt true I knew i cared she didnt see but i did
SO she ran far away
I let her be for i didnt care no more
I lied on my bed and let everything go
Like a wasted drunk with no where to turn
I couldnt move,talk,nothing
All i knew was i felt hurt
No matter what i said
No matter how many loves yous i said
Nothing mattered to her
I was always told no you dont care no you dont
So i lie here and i cant move i cant walk i cant talk
Im stuck im hurt
SINNERS
I heard screams outside my home
I heard noises and frightening sounds
Shivers ran down my back
Nothing but horrofying <--ics noises outside
I wanted to see what was the trouble i wanted to know
Something held me back
I knew not of what was wrong
I was scared alone and held back from the outside world
I wanted to cry i wanted to help i couldnt
Then my door was ripped down
I was thrown out my seat into a corner of the room
I was told words in a language i couldnt understand
Tears ran down my face i didnt know what was wrong
Then i heard the sound of a baby being killed
I watched it like i have always watched it
It was my dream or was it my dream?
Am i in a dream this isnt possible it is so real
So i watched i was forced to watch
Babys hanging from there heads by sharp objects
Fires ablazed just below there feet
I hated to watch to watch em all die
They where the sinners
The sinners of the world
They done wrong and now they pay
I then awake it was only a dream
Only a dream or was it?
ok rr i am missing a poem but when i find it i will post it lol i duno where it is wow now i have all my poems in one area dam thats 21 poems heh i didnt think i wrote that many thanks for the inspiration kat mark and darkness you have been big helpers in this maha i got it thank you katy i love you
so here it is
A DREAM WORLD
A dream world of happyness
A dream world of wickedness
A place to lie my head
A place to leave this world
The dreams is where i like to be
A world of im not sure
The dream world
A place to confide in
A place that dont hollor at me
A place where nothing seems to go wrong
And if something does
You can awake to a scare and no nothings wrong
You can also awake to happyness
Its your dream
Its your dream so as you may awake to how you wish
The dream world
A place to confide in
A place of surrow and mystery
The dream world
My home away from home
and ima leave it just like that for katy hehe shes a good freind to actually take time and find that
THE CHILD OF TORTURE
Chained down tortured
The child of torture
Chained down tortured
It never stopped
The child of torture
No matter how loud he screamed
No matter what he said
No matter how many tears he cried
Chained down tortured
The child of torture
The pain never goes away
The tears remain the same
Falling down
He drowns in his own tears
Chained down tortured
A dream
A lie
He asked why no one listened
He was dead
He was the child of torture
The child of hell
A child of sins
Full of lies
Full of hate
The child of torture
He must remain cast into the dark shadows
Away from the realm of the real world
Chained down tortured
No one cared
No one will never care
Chained and tortured he is
The child of torture
IS IT OR IS IT NOT A DREAM ?
Shes asleep
Alone all alone
A dream world
A place of quiteness
A place of not being sure
Asleep she is asleep
Running faster and faster
She hears someone calling
Shes scared yet curious
Whos this voice
Who are you she calls out
What do you want
Leave me be
She runs faster
She hears the voice again
It screams i am death
I come to take you away
She then awakes
Awakes to bloody walls
Body parts scattered across her room
Is she dreaming or this real
She isnt sure
She lies in bed and she cries
She cries and cries
She wonders can it be real or is it a dream
Next time you fall asleep think of me the little girl who got lost
Lost within a dream